Author: Bonnie Ross-Parker

Categories
Life

Living Your Legacy

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Your legacy is the reflection of the impact you’ve had on the hearts you’ve touched  Your legacy is your life’s journey The only difference between each individual legacy is its circle of influence.

Have you ever given thought to YOUR legacy?  Do you lead your life with purpose and passion?  Perhaps you’re thinking that only ‘famous’, ‘well-known’ individuals leave their legacy at passing.  The truth is all of us are shaping our legacy as our lives unfold. We create our legacy through the way we show up in the world and how others remember us.  What you do on a consistent basis produces the compound effect that shapes your living legacy! I hope you find this encouraging. I hope you see this reality as a shift in both your thinking and in your behavior.  I hope you recognize how powerful you are and the difference you make. This concept – Living Your Legacy – is all about YOU. It always is and always will be. The way you live – the way you embrace relationships – that is what your legacy is today and will be throughout your lifetime and thereafter.

“Everyone must leave something behind when he dies, my grandfather said.  A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built or a pair of shoes made.  Or a garden planted. Something your hand touched some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die and when people look at that tree or that flower you planed, you’re there.  It doesn’t matter what you do, we said, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that’s like you after you take your hands away.” Ray Bradbury

Sitting alone with my thoughts at my keyboard gave me ample time to reflect on not only the meaning of legacy, but also the indicators of its existence. One’s legacy doesn’t have to be big or wide. It doesn’t have to be global. Any individual who comes from a loving place has the opportunity to leave his or her legacy. Believe in yourself and know that you help shape the world by being you.

Categories
Life

There’s Always A Last Time

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At the end of August we pulled away from our underground parking space and our apartment home for 4 years, and headed South toward Tampa.  After 23+ years in Atlanta, Phil said the following: “Say goodbye to Atlanta”. My eyes filled with tears. We began our married life in Atlanta.  Prior to our move to Georgia, I had said, “Goodbye” to 30 years in suburban DC. There was, however, something about this particular farewell that really hit me hard.

I wish now that ‘Last Times’ would come with big signs that say, “This is the Last Time.”  Then we’d know to savor them no matter how inconsequential they might seem at the time. All of us experience last times. Yet, how many of us actually take moments to reflect, appreciate and hold onto those moments?  Instead of embracing and planting a vivid picture of a last time, if you’re like me, you’re rushing on. We think there will be a hundred other times, exactly like a particular one, so you keep moving rather than fixing the experience in your mind so you can vividly recall it again at a later date.

We think there’ll be other chances just like this one. Life is so busy with so many things to do that I think I’ll savor it next time, or maybe the time after that. How could I possibly know that this particular moment, this experience or this embrace wouldn’t recur again. No second chance, no revisiting what previously occurred.  It’s over and I missed it and it’s gone forever.

With this being the month of Thanksgiving and my birthday,  and as I get older (74 in just a few days), I look back and wish I could relive those days I could’ve said “I love you” more often, hugged tighter, acknowledged and appreciated with greater heart and captured the essence of any possible ‘Last Time’.  (If I had only known)

As I write this, we’ve just returned from a few days (never enough) visiting family in Hartford and Manhattan.  I hugged & kissed my mom (95+) tighter and more often than usual, expressed abundant gratitude for my family to several we visited during our stay and chose to let the time stand for something real by increasing my awareness.  Reality being what it is, I can’t know if I’ll see my mom again. I don’t know when I’ll get to hug my brothers, their families, my daughter or grandchildren again. I just don’t know and pray that this visit was not the last one.. ‘The Last Time’.

Consider the times you value with as much love as you can.  Remember to focus on and embrace important moments. Consider the joy of doing what you can when you can, then facing the pain of regret for having left opportunities pass by.  We don’t get warning signs that shout, “Beware – This Is The Last Time.” All we can do is hold tight to what is important, acknowledge those we love and appreciate and recognize the gift that life offers by being in the moment.  Life/time go on with or without us. Let’s leave positive, indelible imprints everywhere we go and in everything we do. May our ‘Last Times’ be ones to celebrate and remain forever planted in our mind’s eye because we embraced what we had when we had it… ‘For The Last Time’.

 

Categories
Life

I’m Fine!

While I take great pleasure in sharing my own thoughts and experiences here on my blog, every now and then I come across someone else’s ideas that have value worth relating.  Here is my overview on something I read recently. The title is “It’s Fine” We all use this phrase more than we probably realize. For example, “How’s work?” “It’s fine.”  “How are the kids?” “They’re fine.” “How are you?”  “I’m fine.” Of course, I’ve responded numerous times with “It’s fine.” Maybe our answer is simply out of habit.  Maybe we give the ‘It’s fine” response because we think the person asking us really doesn’t want to know what’s actually going on.

The bottom line is that many of us simply accept situations that are ‘just’ okay.  It takes time and courage to change the status quo, to share what we’re handling because it’s unsettling or because opening up with anything other than ‘it’s fine’ may show our vulnerability and weakness.  Responding with “It’s fine” may be one way of protecting ourselves from the truth.

Of course, there is another way of looking at this scenario.   I know I’ve held back from really sharing my enthusiasm and good fortune with someone because of what I know about their situation.  Telling someone your kids are great, your job is awesome or anything else that brings you joy if that person is hurting feels awkward and insensitive.  Seems to me that, being “fine” with what’s going on in one’s life has become an acceptable and standard response.

If, however, you are not fine with the direction of your life, than what is holding you back from making necessary changes?  Is it fear? Is it complacency? Is it lack of energy? Do you possess the courage to change what’s not favorable?  Do you doubt your resilience? Maybe take a moment to think about the last time you faced a personal challenge. How did you handle the situation?  If it wasn’t “fine” what did you do to make it better?

When we settle for less than we want, we trade the possibility of a great future for the reality of an adequate present. We all have the capacity to go from something that’s “fine” to “great”!  And, isn’t “great” what we want our life to be?

Categories
Life Professional Development

A Woman

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A Woman – Who Is She?

An extraordinary person with a story to tell,

On a journey and a mission only she can fulfill.

She’s empowered, enlightened, enterprising.

A woman will not be denied.

She deserves her success.

And accepts her accomplishments with pride.

She’s entrepreneurial, enthusiastic, energetic.

A woman is all about sharing.

She connects. She collaborates.

She gives back.

A woman is exceptional, setting the pace.

She encourages.

She embraces.

And shares from her heart place.

A woman is confident and proud.

Endearing, re-known.

To be a Woman is to acknowledge yourself.

To know deep within your power, your worth.

A Woman sets the standard of excellence

In all that she is.

She’s an extraordinary person with a story to tell,

On a journey and a mission only she can fulfill.

She’s a “Universal Woman”

Uniquely her.

A gift, a treasure, a person who endures.

A woman

Who is she?

She is ever evolving

YOU and me!

Categories
Life Professional Development

Self Confidence

Do you have any idea how important, unique and special you are?  Do you realize there exists only one YOU? What would keep you for acknowledging your greatness?

Every time you share yourself and your ideas you bring value to others.  Ideas come in many forms. They can be as simple as a suggestion, create clarity out of confusion or give insight that is transformational.  Your ideas are a reflection of who you are, how you think, what you feel and what you’ve learned from your own experiences. When you can arrive at a place that YOU matter, that your ideas matter and that sharing is a way to build confidence, you become so much bigger than who you think you are!

Willingness to share on any level is powerful.  There is no way of assessing the impact you have on someone else by offering them your point of view.  Each of us is unique. You are unique. Your experiences are unique. Your perspectives are unique. No one has traveled your road, been faced with your specific challenges or possesses your knowledge.  You are the only person qualified to be you.

There are times, however, that you could doubt yourself.  You make a suggestion that someone else discounts. You share an idea you want to implement and the response is negative.  Suddenly, you feel self-conscious and unsure. It’s unrealistic to think that every time any of us have something to say our contribute will meet with unquestioned approval.  Because we each differ, it’s predictable that our points of view will also differ. The key is to recognize you don’t have to have others’ agreement for your ideas to matter or for your value to be questioned.  You ARE valuable. Resolve that no matter what, you possess the confidence to know you are just fine. No one and no circumstance can ever devalue you.

Just as it’s normal to be sensitive to another’s negativity, someone else’s response has nothing to do with you.  As long as there are people, there will always be differing points of view. All ideas matter. Whether someone agrees with you or not is irrelevant.  What someone thinks about you is none of your business! We can’t possibly know the thinking, circumstances and feelings of anyone but ourselves. All you can ever do is share with integrity, accept with compassion and go about your life in a way that best suits you.  Never let your reaction to others or their reaction to you diminish who you are.

You are the gift.  You and your ideas have value.  Some will be well received and others will lay dormant.  You and your ideas have value not only because they reflect who you are, but because they represent the gift you bring to others.  Choose your words with care. Eliminate drama in your life. Associate with positive, energized and supportive individuals. Share from an open heart.  Be eager to listen and to learn. Welcome feedback. Remember, you matter. You make a difference. You have no way of knowing when or where. Just know.

Categories
Life

Create Fulfillment in YOUR Life

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It’s that time of year!  Are you ready?  Spring has finally showered us with the reminder of her beauty.  Opening windows allows fresh air to fill us.  Taking walks in the early morning or after dinner give us time to appreciate our surroundings, acknowledge our life and connect with our source.   There are flowers and birds and children at play.   Want to know the best part of the season?  We get to consider our own ‘blossoming’ – a chance to shed the old (Winter) and give birth to the new (Spring).

This is the perfect time to consider how much your life matters and how others can benefit from who you are.  “Those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life’s deepest joy:  true fulfillment”.  (Anthony Robbins).  When I think about all the ‘things’ that are in  my life, it’s clear that materialism is no substitute for connecting one’s self with a worthy cause, participating with people who share the same vision and values or doing something for someone without any expectations in return.  The feeling of fullness is yours to enjoy because your heart place is alive with energy and purpose.  Your soul feels nourished, your days are happy and you know you are making a difference.

Fulfillment can take on many forms.  It can be experienced through volunteerism, connection with your spiritual self, working toward a far-reaching goal, being someone’s support or mentor or any activity that elevates your sense of self.  It’s worth both time and energy to search for and find that vehicle or outlet which reflects your uniqueness and values your participation.  And what a perfect time to uncover what this is for you than during Spring!

Denis Waitley says, “Personal satisfaction is the most important ingredient of success.”  Feeling satisfied and knowing that who you are and what you do contributes to the well-being of people and community is powerful.  Fulfillment is not the job you perform or the task you accomplish.  It is how you feel about yourself because of the difference ‘being you’ makes.

So I ask you to consider this.  Where are you in your life’s experiences as it relates to feeling fulfilled?  Are you connected to something bigger than you?  Are you involved in activities you find rewarding?  Are you stretching your mind to explore new possibilities?  And most importantly, are you willing to consider other options that could take you to a place you’ve not yet been?

This is the time to expand your self-awareness.  This is the time to fill your soul to overflowing because you know your life has purpose.  Find the answer or answers that are right for you.  The journey is yours.  No one else can offer what your life is all about.  Make time for you.  Use your precious life to give yourself one of the greatest rewards – fulfillment.  Enjoy springtime.  As you witness its beauty, consider the beauty that is you as well.  Shine your light and let others know you are here to serve.  My Friend, being of service will provide you with everything you need to live a life of overflowing fulfillment.

What brings you joy and fulfillment?

Categories
Life

Someday IS Today

 Someday, I’ll write the book that I’ve been thinking about. Someday, I’ll lose the weight I’ve gained. Someday, I’ll take that computer class everyone recommends. Someday, I’ll finally make arrangements for that long overdue vacation. Ever stop to consider that the some days of our lives never go away? They haunt us, remind us of what we intended to do and show up every now and then.

Are we just too busy or distracted to consider what we want to do? Are we just pulled in too many directions that we don’t take time to consider what we need to do? Call it procrastination. Call it laziness. Call it whatever you want to call it. Reality check: Someday is NOT going AWAY! Someday is NOW.

Every minute, every thought and action collectively create tomorrow.  There isn’t a break in time from one moment to the next. Life is a continuous cycle. While our lives revolve around a clock and calendar, time doesn’t stop and start. There isn’t an ‘ending’ to today and a ‘beginning’ tomorrow. There are consequences in not taking time seriously. Haven’t we all experienced regret?

What does it take to insure that your ‘tomorrow’ is what you want it to be? Live with the end in mind. Know who you are. Know what you want. Be willing to do the work today to get the results you deserve. Life is a gift. It’s not an accident.We didn’t create it; we got it for free. The question is this: How much do you really value the gift of life? What can you do now and in the days ahead to insure your life plays out with overflowing gratitude. Be blessed. Bless others. You are worthy of amazing tomorrows. It really is in your hands. Be all you can be. Someday Is Today.

 

Categories
Life Professional Development

If Only

Does this sound familiar?  If only I had moved instead of staying stuck.  If only I had listened to the advice I’d been given instead of dismissing suggestions.  If only I had spent more time with my family. If only I had been less impulsive regarding an unsuitable relationship and given my decision more thought.  If only I had listened to the voice inside.

If only is our way of looking back with regret over things we did or didn’t do and wishing we had handled a situation differently resulting in a different outcome.  Living one’s life by continually revisiting if only is a waste of time, energy and thinking.  Instead of focusing on if only in our lives, it might serve us better to give our attention to that small, powerful voice inside that whispers answers to those of us willing to listen.

When I think of impulsive decisions I’ve made – eliminating careful thought in the name of spontaneity – there are many choices that drew me in the wrong direction.  Past partnerships that were disastrous, business decisions and investments that cost me both emotionally and financially and those times when I put career as a priority over family just to name a few.  Whatever the voice inside was trying to say, I was too busy to pay attention! Might that be true of you, too?

Paying attention by acknowledging our intuition is a great practice to develop.  With living life at record speed as most of us do today and wanting answers yesterday instead of exhibiting patience, it’s no wonder that we don’t take the time necessary to listen to that voice that has our best interests at heart.  We no longer walk. We run. And, for me, there’s been a price to pay for not slowing down to make better choices.

Only when we find the quietness in our own minds can we begin to hear our inner teacher, so that we may receive some intuition. Only when we are ready to recognize and value the wisdom that we carry at the core of our being will we turn our attention inwards and ‘listen in’. Sit down, be quiet and listen in at some point today and you might be surprised at what you hear. Then do it again tomorrow. All you need to do is remember that you are the listener and not the noise.  What I am actually saying is that we need to be willing to let our intuition guide us and then be willing to follow that guidance directly and fearlessly.

Maybe now is the time to consider the possibilities?  Re-directing your actions inwardly and listening to what your heart shares can certainly move you toward eliminating if only in your life. You get to make choices that serve you best without worry or apprehension. You get to trust outcomes. You free yourself from uncertainty because you feel empowered by the core of your source and wisdom!  How free do you want to feel?

 

Categories
Life

Life Is A Journey

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Life is a journey.  Each of our lives is a reflection of the experiences we have, the people we meet, the thoughts we consider and the feelings we embrace.

Life is meant to be shared.  No one chooses to travel life alone.  Joy is in the shared journey. It’s those opportunities we say “Yes” to the people we meet or invite along the way and the “ah ha” moments that awaken us to a new way of looking at something familiar.  Our journeys continue day to day, as one experience follows another. The journey embraces people who impact us, circumstances and changes we can’t control, the choices and decisions we make and the effect of those actions over time.  The road is comprised of trial and error, risks and opportunities, pleasure and disappointment.

The word “our” lies within the word “journey”.  How we conduct ourselves and the value we place on our relationships both determine the quality of our life.  Consider embracing unconditional love everywhere you go, toward everyone you meet and in all you do. Set an example of what IS possible when we truly live our lives appreciating one another.  Set a high standard of behavior that will not be compromised. Live with integrity. Together, we can grow the global heart. When one contact leads to another and we become beacon of positive light and love to those we touch, we truly will know that ‘our’ journey is making a difference. Know you have within you the capacity to brighten the world you touch.

I welcome your thoughts, comments and fresh insights.

Categories
Branding Life Networking Professional Development

Be Memorable!

One of my favorite sayings is, “Why show up unless you want to be remembered?” I follow this with, “Leave positive, indelible imprints everywhere you go and in everything you do.”   In other words, be remembered for the right reasons.

There are actually two aspects to being memorable – how you dress and how you behave and in many ways they are  equally important.  Show up beautifully and professionally dressed with a bad attitude and you’ll be remembered but not for the right reason.  Have a great attitude and show up unkempt and it will be difficult for anyone to get past your appearance.  So, what is the answer to being remembered in favorable light?

I happened to catch a Dolly Parton interview not long ago and she shared rather openly the truth of how she always looks ‘impeccable’.  Dolly goes to bed with makeup (extreme, don’t you agree?) and with a wig by her nightstand.  Should an emergency force a quick exit, she wants to show up exactly the way she wants you to see her!  Well, I’m not suggesting any of us follow her lead, however, I am suggesting that how you show up in the world is exactly how you want others to see you.

For 29+ years I’ve had a signature style – I always wear cowboy boots.  Admittedly, it’s a bit different and always is a bit decisive, however, every day – yes even in warm weather – I wear cowboy boots.  Exceptions:  beach or at L.A. Fitness!  If Barbara Bush always wears her 3 strands of pearls, Larry King wears suspenders and Elton John his unusual glasses, I guess there’s a reason!  They have each created a singular style and it’s noticeable and expected.  How does this apply to you?  It is not too late to consider ‘creating’ a specific style.  Begin collecting scarves, unusual pins, unique color themes – anything that starts to create a change in your appearance.  Remember what I said earlier?  Why show if you don’t want to be remembered? Your appearance is the very first thing that creates a response.  Adding vibrant colors to your wardrobe, a consistent accessory or anything that sets you apart is a great way to attract others.  Appearance opens the door to conversation and connection.  Poor appearance is surely a door closer.

The same is true of your behavior.  Are you kind, generous, neat, punctual and a woman of her word?  Or are you moody, cheap, sloppy and perpetually late?  How you show up is how your life plays out.  How many times have you made excuses for a messy car to a passenger, apologized again for tardiness or split a dining check down the middle to the penny?  How many times have you made commitments and had to change the plans?  How reliable are you?

When it comes to being memorable, appearance AND behavior are the two factors that will either engage or turn off others.  It really doesn’t matter if you think you’ve ‘got it together’.  What matters is do others respond to you the way you want them to?  One could stay, “I expect others to accept me as I am” and I agree with you.  That being said, however, how you choose to represent yourself has a lot to do with self-respect.  When you feel positive, look positive and greet the world with a confident ‘YOU’ your confidence strengthens, your outcomes improve and you leave positive, indelible imprints everywhere you go and in everything you do.

Might this be worth a shift in your thinking and choices?  Only you can decide that for yourself.   As always, I welcome your feedback/comments.