There’s Always A Last Time

At the end of August we pulled away from our underground parking space and our apartment home for 4 years, and headed South toward Tampa.  After 23+ years in Atlanta, Phil said the following: “Say goodbye to Atlanta”. My eyes filled with tears. We began our married life in Atlanta.  Prior to our move to Georgia, I had said, “Goodbye” to 30 years in suburban DC. There was, however, something about this particular farewell that really hit me hard.

I wish now that ‘Last Times’ would come with big signs that say, “This is the Last Time.”  Then we’d know to savor them no matter how inconsequential they might seem at the time. All of us experience last times. Yet, how many of us actually take moments to reflect, appreciate and hold onto those moments?  Instead of embracing and planting a vivid picture of a last time, if you’re like me, you’re rushing on. We think there will be a hundred other times, exactly like a particular one, so you keep moving rather than fixing the experience in your mind so you can vividly recall it again at a later date.

We think there’ll be other chances just like this one. Life is so busy with so many things to do that I think I’ll savor it next time, or maybe the time after that. How could I possibly know that this particular moment, this experience or this embrace wouldn’t recur again. No second chance, no revisiting what previously occurred.  It’s over and I missed it and it’s gone forever.

With this being the month of Thanksgiving and my birthday,  and as I get older (74 in just a few days), I look back and wish I could relive those days I could’ve said “I love you” more often, hugged tighter, acknowledged and appreciated with greater heart and captured the essence of any possible ‘Last Time’.  (If I had only known)

As I write this, we’ve just returned from a few days (never enough) visiting family in Hartford and Manhattan.  I hugged & kissed my mom (95+) tighter and more often than usual, expressed abundant gratitude for my family to several we visited during our stay and chose to let the time stand for something real by increasing my awareness.  Reality being what it is, I can’t know if I’ll see my mom again. I don’t know when I’ll get to hug my brothers, their families, my daughter or grandchildren again. I just don’t know and pray that this visit was not the last one.. ‘The Last Time’.

Consider the times you value with as much love as you can.  Remember to focus on and embrace important moments. Consider the joy of doing what you can when you can, then facing the pain of regret for having left opportunities pass by.  We don’t get warning signs that shout, “Beware – This Is The Last Time.” All we can do is hold tight to what is important, acknowledge those we love and appreciate and recognize the gift that life offers by being in the moment.  Life/time go on with or without us. Let’s leave positive, indelible imprints everywhere we go and in everything we do. May our ‘Last Times’ be ones to celebrate and remain forever planted in our mind’s eye because we embraced what we had when we had it… ‘For The Last Time’.