Author: Bonnie Ross-Parker

It’s never my intention to use this platform to express viewpoints other than my own.  With this particular blog post, however, I felt compelled to share thoughts we might all consider to create a more loving world.

In the spiritual realm, there is no limitation. There is no lack. There is no scarcity. In the spiritual world, there is abundance. There is plenty. There is sufficiency. When we believe it is possible to experience heaven on Earth, we commit to being a living demonstration of the spiritual realm. We make a commitment to choose words and actions that reflect our spiritual beliefs.

It is time to turn away from false beliefs and the behaviors that support them. It is time to turn away from inequalities in pay based on gender, disparities in health outcomes based on race, threats to start wars based on religious beliefs, exclusion from civil rights based on caste or heritage.

In Science of Mind (publication) when we say we turn away from untruth, we must name a replacement belief or action. When we make a denial that one thing has power, we immediately state and affirm the principle or belief that represents the absolute power.

I, therefore, invite you to turn away from unhealthy competition and replace it with harmony. Turn away from judgment and replace it with wisdom. Turn away from discrimination and replace it with freedom. Turn away from hatred and replace it with love. Turn away from confusion and replace it with discernment. Turn away from greed and replace it with generosity.

Each of us can, through our individual spiritual practice, align our consciousness with the goodness of life. Each one of us affects the experience for all humanity. Let us affirm: We are  here for each other. I am a member of the team of life.”  Tracy Brown, author/lecturer with Intentional Inclusion, Inc

Dealing with the pain one associates with death and illness has strengthened my capacity to feel the heartbreak of others.  The emotions that result from life’s devastating circumstances often take years to heal and for some individuals, one might never reach acceptance and peace. In my world, witnessing the suffering of others physically affects me. Whether a difficult situation is with someone I know personally, a story in the news or even a Facebook post, I almost immediately absorb the suffering and feel tears of compassion.

There is a part of me that doesn’t want to be immune to life’s uncertainty. Life offers no guarantees. Disease and illness are real. Suffering is real. Death is real. My capacity to heal has taken me years. This same journey has also given me the gift of caring deeply. I understand pain. I also think that until someone, anyone experiences huge loss, it’s challenging to feel unconditional compassion for what another individual is enduring.

As I write this blog, we are going through trying times. There already exists abundant suffering, agonizing loss and unthinkable circumstances. My heart hurts. Hard as I try to clear my mind and bring my body peace, I am constantly aware of being surrounded by out of control developments. I can’t even image the level of pain that is happening in all corners of the world. The numbers are staggering, the ripple effect overwhelming and it’s hard to envision when light will overcome the darkness that has invaded our lives.

More than ever before and during my lifetime, there is an ever present, all encompassing need for compassion, for caring and healing. While as you read this (and I hope it is the case), you might not personally be affected by the suffering of family or loved ones, I’d like to think that you, too, are experiencing a heavy heart. No matter how privileged or safe we are, all of us are bearing witness to the unthinkable, to overwhelming fear and to devastation.  Let’s all, every one of us, exhibit compassion, care and pray for peace for all humanity. May our collective voices speak hope. May our collective voices offer resilience. May we know that we can each make a difference with simple gestures of kindness and concern. May you remain out of harm’s way.

We are all facing such an uncertain time. Many of us are feeling separated, isolated and alone as the virus continues to show its ugliness and perseverance. Family and friends seem to be the most pressing need right now. To feel and be connected – to know that those we love are safe, willing to be diligent and patient are reassurance we all crave.

All I have to do is place a call, make a visit or ask for what I need! Friendship is all about being there for one another.  Likewise, when  a friend calls upon me, I  feel special  knowing my companionship and my time are valued. Sharing experiences with friends makes events more memorable and circumstances more tolerable. Knowing someone cares about my well-being and to express my concern in return is indicative of a priceless relationship.

Having a conversation that creates clarity when uncertain about an issue makes it easier to decide what to do. Friendship has no time constraint and no limits. Years pass and yet friends have the ability to re-connect and re-establish their relationship in an instant. Distance is not a barrier to friendship. People move, jobs change, unexpected circumstances occur and friends can still remain friends. What a wonderful concept! In a rapidly changing world it’s reassuring to know that friendships can endure. Neither politics, the economy, or the weather can replace an enduring friendship.

Recently I received a call from a long-standing friend whose  husband is not well. Although we don’t see one another often because of geographic limitations, she knew when I picked up the phone that she could count on me to listen and support her as she struggles through a stressful time.

Frequently friends just need a listening ear, a caring heart, and warm reassurance. Sometimes a friend is excited to share good fortune. There are times when a conversation or visit with a close friend is just the prescription we need when feeling out of sorts. Each of us has a never ending capacity to love and to care. We have  unlimited opportunities to be supportive wherever and whenever someone needs us. Having friends and being a friend are priceless gifts we give to each other. Call or visit someone today. You never know who needs you at this very moment. You never know how a friend can fill a void in your life just by hearing his or her familiar voice. Two gifts you can count on forever – being a friend and having friends.

If you are like most of us, you have been trained to believe you will find your treasure at the end of the rainbow, not as you travel along its colorful path.  You may have been taught that your reward awaits you at the end of your journey. That is not where I have found my greatest treasures.

It’s been my experience that regardless of the outcome I anticipate, creating and implementing my plan is often as exciting and rewarding as achieving the end result.  Remember when you planned a surprise, arranged the details for a vacation, the years you were in college to earn your degree, overcame a job loss or spent weeks looking for the perfect home to purchase?  As you recall those times, how much of the joy was in planning, preparing or the personal growth and satisfaction you achieved along the way. How much wisdom, character and strength did you develop throughout the experiences?

Life’s journeys are not always easy and certainly not without challenges, however, consider how much richer they make arriving at the destination.  The journey is often where the stories are born that vividly color the pages of your life. We look back and remind ourselves of what we accomplished, what we’ve overcome and delight in the progress we’ve made.  While intellectually this makes sense, if you are like me, I get impatient to reach the outcome. My focus gets narrow and I want to know when my plans will take shape. When will I arrive? When will I pass through pain and be at peace?  Focusing only on the end results can keep us from discovering the amazing reassures available along the way and the challenges we’ve had the determination to overcome.

Reality is that death is the only true end to life’s journey.  Our journey continues day after day…one experience following another.  The journey encompasses the people we meet, the pleasures we experience and situations and circumstances we can’t control.  Changes can alter us forever and losses will impact us with emotion that can leave us feeling hopeless. Our journey is affected by every choice and every action taken.  The road is comprised of trial and error, risk, change, opportunities, pleasure and, yes, disappointments and pain. Through it all, however, we learn and grow as we move closer to our destination.  This requires patience. We can choose to take time to celebrate and learn from each experience. I am convinced that the real treasures are those uncovered along our life’s journey. The gold is not at the end of the journey.  It’s on the path we take along the way. Perhaps, now, more than ever, we need to look for the light of hope to guide us.

About Us:  Firsthand Accounts on What it Means and How it Feels to Live with a Disability.
Edited by Peter Catapano and Rosemarie Garland-Thomson

While I don’t normally use my blog to recommend a book, this is simply too powerful to go unacknowledged.  About Us shares 60 essays that speak to the very core of life as a disabled individual. The one I’ve selected to share goes to the heart of what everyone of us needs to understand, embrace and demonstrate.  The chapter is: “10 Things My Chronic Illness Taught My Children” by Paula M. Fitzgibbons.

1. They have acquired patience.
2. They have developed flexibility
3. They have learned to be self-sufficient.
4. They have learned to be considerate.
5. They have witnessed commitment in action.
6. They have developed compassion.
7. They have learned not to judge by appearance or jump to conclusions.
8. They have developed an appreciation for service.
9. They have learned that abilities do not define a person
10. They have learned that it is OK to experience pain and express strong emotions.

What would this world be like if everyone, each of us, would learn and truly embrace these lessons as we go through life – healthy or otherwise? Just stop to imagine a world without judgment, a world where all individuals cared about one another, lent support and offered unconditional love and understanding.  Imagine a world where being of service to others was the norm and that fear, loneliness and depression could be substituted with human-kindness. Just imagine if each of us simply took it upon ourselves to incorporate these lessons in our daily life and demonstrating by example showed others a beautiful way to live. I welcome your comments.