You’ve heard it before: “Attitude is everything. It’s not what happens to you that matters; it’s how your mind looks at what happens.”  Life is about ‘attitude’.

     From where I sit, it’s getting increasingly more difficult to maintain a positive mental attitude!  Traffic is stressful.  Responsible customer service rarely occurs.  People are over-worked and struggling financially.  It’s becoming very difficult for individuals to maintain a balanced life style.

      When I arrive at the gym at 7:30 for my morning wokout, a dedicated group of early risers has already worked out, showered, dressed and are on their way to face the daily challenges of their jobs!  I bet in addition to feeling strong and healthy, this committed band of exercise devotees begin the day with a positive attitude because they’re taking time to take care of their health.  It’s a lessfon for all of us to consider.

     Attitude is an inside job.  It’s how you respnd to conditions out of your control.  “It is what it is.”  The challenge for most of us, including myself, is how to prevent external situations from impacting our attitude.  Being positive requires work and a consciencious decision.  It’s telling yourself that no matter what is going on outside I will remain positive.

     I’ve decided to make having a positive attitude a goal for one week.  For 7 days, regardless of what happens, I am going to sail through life’s annoyances.  Whether it’s a delivery that doesn’t arrive at the scheduled time, an unresonsive customer service representative, a long, slow moving postal line, usual Atlanta traffic or an important appointment that gets cancelled at the last minute, nothing is going to disturb my inner peace.   I am going to remain determined to strengthen my mental toughness.  I am going to maintain a positive mental attitude.  It’s all about focus.  Will you join me?  One week at a time!  Excuses are not an option.  Action counts!

        You’ve heard the message!  You HAVE to network to expand business!  When you build relationships, you create top of mind awareness.  When someone needs the product or service you provide, you want them to immediately think of you.  What can you implement during and after networking events that can begin laying the foundation for better results?

             Focusing on the following strategies with conviction and consistency, will help you stand out in a crowded marketplace.  They are:   initiate conversations, be memorable and follow up.  Exchanging business cards will not get you the results you want.  It’s the positive impression you leave behind that is critical to the outcome you want.

             Ever been to a networking event and find yourself feeling isolated and conspicuous?  Ever notice someone else that is also by him/herself?  In both circumstances, initiating a conversation is the perfect door opener.  When you rescue someone, they will remember you.  Extend your hand, ask about their profession, what they may have done previously, how they got started, what they enjoy most about their work, etc.  It is likely that person will return the favor and give you a chance to talk about your dealership.  Then exchange business cards.

             Want to be memorable?  Be a great listener.  Use eye contact.  Wear something unusual that creates curiosity.   Offer compliments.  Volunteer.  Extend invitations.  Express gratitude. 

             The sale is in the follow up.  Introduce someone you meet to someone you know.  Invite someone you know to someone they need to meet.  If warranted, reach out within 48 hours – a written note on your logo letterhead, a phone call or email.  Do what you say you’re going to do.  Share an article of value.  Find a reason to stay connected. 

             People do business with people who bring value, who show interest in them and who exemplify integrity above all other attributes.  Be that person and anticipate increasing sales.

When it comes to friendship,  all I have to do is place a call, make a visit or  ask for what I need!  Friendship is all about being there for one another.  When  a friend calls upon me I  feel special  knowing my thoughts and my time are valued.   Sharing experiences with friends makes events more memorable. Having a conversation that creates clarity when uncertain about an issue makes it easier to decide.  Friendship has no time  constraint and no limits.  Years pass and yet friends have the ability to re-connect and re-establish their relationship in an instant. 

Distance need never a barrier to friendship. People move,  jobs change, unexpected circumstances occur and friends can still remain friends.   What a wonderful concept!

In a rapidly changing world,  it’s reassuring to know that friendships can endure.  Neither politics, the economy, or the weather can replace  an enduring friendship.

Recently I received a call from a long-standing friend whose husband is not well.  Although we don’t see one another often because of geographic limitations, she knew when I picked up the phone that she could count on me to listen and support her as she struggles through a stressful time. 

Frequently friends just need a listening ear, a caring heart, and warm reassurance. Sometimes a friend is excited to share good fortune. There are times when a conversation or visit with a close friend is just the prescription we need when feeling out of sorts.  Each of us has a never ending capacity to love and to care.

We have  unlimited opportunities to be supportive wherever and whenever someone needs us.  Having friends and being a friend are priceless gifts we give to each other. Call or visit someone today.

“Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda”

 It’s bad enough when I beat myself up for my shortcomings.  When someone else decides to beat me up, that’s another  issue.  The fact is that once something we’ve said or done is over, regardless of how we handled ourselves, it’s over. We can’t turn back the clock, redo one’s behavior,  or cover up a mistake. Certainly we can explain our behavior and apologize if  appropriate, learn from what happened and  move on. The problem is that  when we decide  to go forward, there is usually someone that wants to hold us back!  Isn’t that amazing!    

The key is  not allowing  anyone to trap you!  All of us have a right to our own choices, to do the best we can in a given situation, and to share our thoughts and feelings based on  our own experiences.  What’s the point when someone says, “If you woulda done it the way I suggested, you wouldn’t be in this mess.” Or, “You shoulda definitely…………” Or, “You coulda anticipated that was going to happen!” Really?  While, I’m open-minded when it comes to asking others for advice and ask for permission before giving my opinion,  the LAST thing you want to say to me is, “You should ….”  Who knows better than me what I SHOULD or should not do?

 We all have the  right to lead our lives in the way it serves us best.  Our choices are based on the information  on hand or through past experiences.   Respecting another person’s right to choose acknowledges not onlyour belief  in them, but also honors  their individuality. While I don’t celebrate my mistakes, I do know that I progress to the degree that I learn from them.  Sure,  there are times that I woulda done something differently, that I coulda been more considerate or that I shoulda known better.  All I’m asking is that  you let me find that out for myself.

       OK.  We are into the last month of the first quarter of 2010.  Where are you on the resolutions you established in January?  Are you on track?  Have you lost your resolve?  Do you even remember what you said you were going to do?  Are you holding yourself accountable?

       Experience has proven one of the best ways to stay focused is to engage an accountability partner.  By scheduling time (daily is best) to ‘report in’ you are more likely to make progress on your commitment(s).  My suggestion would be to alternate days.  One day you share your progress; the next day your partner shares with you.  You can determine the questions in advance and ask them of one another.  For example, “What did you do since you last shared that is helping you reach your goal?”  “What specific steps are you going to take before you report in again?”  “What gets in the way that keeps you from making progress?”  Anything you ask that encourages your partner and anything your partner asks of you can significantly impact your outcome.  By holding one another accountable, you increase your chances of success.

       I know when I’m ‘stuck’ and I ask someone to help me by listening to where I am and who gives me time to express myself, I begin to hear my own excuses!  Excuses don’t equate to progress.  Determination does!  I encourage you right now consider how your plans are unfolding and if what you want  to accomplish is not playing out favorably, ask for help and return the favor!  It’s better to pick someone who will hold you ‘feet to the fire’ and someone whose opinion you admire.  Asking a spouse or best friend will not work.  You’ll begin to defend yourself and that’s not what you want!   You want a non-judgmental listener -   an advocate – a cheerleader.  And, you want honesty. 

It is my hope, you are making progress.  Let me know how you’re doing!

When One Is Too Many

 The apology you neglected to make.

The commitment you forgot.

The inconsiderate comment.

The white lie.

Any lie.

Lack of integrity

Disrespect.

Making any assumption without knowing the truth.

Judgment.

Failing to forgive.

An excuse.

Holding onto a grudge.

           We all know the expression, “No one is perfect.”  A lot of us are prone to fall short of being the best of who we are.  That doesn’t, however, diminish our responsibility to address life situations respectfully. 

          One of my favorite books is The Four Agreements, published in 1997 by Miguel Ruiz.  He identifies the agreements as the following: Be impeccable with your word, don’t take anything personally, don’t make assumptions and always do your best. Ruiz goes on to say that following these 4 basic rules leads to personal freedom.

          When I came up with the idea of sharing thoughts about one being too many, I realized that none of us can measure the impact of one nasty comment, one forgotten birthday, holding onto a grudge, speaking unkindly about someone to a third party, not honoring a commitment or anything else that can negatively impact another individual.  How many of us right now live with some regret?  I bet we could all be easier on ourselves and others.  I’m sure if we could ‘turn back the clock’ we’d take back unnecessary comments, be kinder and hold onto precious moments as if our last. 

 When One Is Never Enough!

Compliments offered frequently.

Consideration of other’s feelings

Generosity in both time and money

Acceptance of differences.

Expressing gratitude.

Sharing love.

             What does it take to create more loving relationships, a kinder world and the freedom to speak truthfully?  What will it take to get past the color of one’s skin, one’s religious preference, culture or any other distinguishing factor different from our own? I believe it takes an ongoing commitment to live with integrity, to hold one’s self accountable and to be a more forgiving person.   It requires looking beyond our own desires and wants in order to feel greater compassion toward those less fortunate.  While we can’t change the world, we can change the impact we have on it.  We can care.  We can support.  We can reach out.  We can be more understanding.  While one may be too many under certain circumstances, one is never enough to bring peace and harmony to our troubled world.  It requires all of us – one individual at a time – to create a better world.  Can I count on you?

Is 2010 YOUR year?

               My mother often said, “The older you get, the faster the time!”  As with most things, mom was right.  As you read this last entry of 2009 does it seem possible it’s soon to be 10 years since Y2K?  Remember the panic and concern that the sky would fall, our bank accounts would be in jeopardy and warnings to take necessary precaution just in case of crisis?  As it turned out, life went on as normal.

               With this as with every new year, it causes one to “look back” to review and reflect on what we’ve accomplished, the goals we didn’t meet, the blessings and challenges we experienced and to “re-commit” to what we want in the future.  I remember in 2000 being determined to make every year in the new millennium better than the last, more memorable and more productive.  What about you?

               The question is where are you right now in the plans, resolutions, commitments you’re willing to  make in order for  2010 your best year ever?  Will you enroll in a class you’ve postponed until now?  Have you finally once and for all announced to yourself and to everyone who cares about you this is the year your health is your #1 priority? Will you join a  gym or make your membership worthwhile?  Have you written your goals? What about the book you said you were going to write?  Maybe this is the year you’ll leave an unrewarding job to strike out on your own.  What is the condition of your financial house?  Will you finally make plans to update your will?  Do you have a will?  Is one of your goals to add more balance to your life, creating more time for you, family and friends?           

               Are you still reading or have I overwhelmed you?  Here’s the bottom line.  Every day we make choices.  Each day we get to choose the direction we want for our lives.  Every choice has consequences.  A year from now we will be re-visiting the outcomes of our choices.  I encourage you to choose carefully.  Right this minute, say “yes” to your health.  Say “yes” to personal and professional development.  Say “yes” to spending more time with family and friends.  Engage in meaningful work.  Volunteer.  If you need someone to help you be accountable I welcome hearing from you.  Together, we can make 2010 our best year ever.  Would welcome your comments!